I spoke with a mum at the Centre D’animation St Pierre just before the yoga for children and parents workshop. She talked about her and her daugter’s anxiety. I inquired about her profession, she’s a florist. She explained that it’s not all a bed of roses!
I smiled and said the the same thing about being a yoga teacher on a spiritual journey. I haven’t expressed a lot about the difficult periods, or I tend to lighten or colour a story.
This past while I have experienced a lot of anxiety. Just before the rentrée deep sciatic pain arose. A while back I would have panicked and thought «what sort of yoga teacher am I» The anxious period had caused me to do too much, too fast , I ignored my limits: confusion and stress built up. I needed to remind myself to be compassionate and loving to myself first and foremost. That didn’t come easy. Gentle reminders every now and again.
Being a yoga teacher does not mean we are perfect. Fortunately though we do have the gift of yoga postures, breath and we develop the tendency to observe all that comes up. Knowing deep down, this is not who we really are. Knowing it’s a manifestation of the ego thoughts, emotions, old memories, family fears. I read on a yogi tea one morning, there’s no such thing as perfect, only perfect effort.
I cut down on sugar and coffee, concentrated on yoga poses for sciatica, breath and visualisations to heal. I also referenced «le grand dictionnaires des maladies» which more or less summed up exactly what emotions , thoughts were causing the sciatica. I am concious of my fears, limits. Just becoming concious will allow them to evaporate, little by little, know that they are just thoughts generating emotion.
Breathe, long, slow , deep breaths and know deep down that all is ok. I am releasing the pain in my backside!
I am advancing in life slowly and gently. Listening in, remaining connected to the self.I continue my spiritual readings and repeat affirmations daily, trusting that the seeds of hard physical, mental and spiritual work will come to bloom. Sending positive uplifting messages to my subconcious through words and images. The subconcious is a both a source of old pattenss and a blueprint for wisdom, creativity and love. I direct my attention to the latter. Meditating with breath and heart awareness, opening the heart -mind channel to wonderful change.
I am delighted to be teaching in new places in bordeaux and excited about all that is to come.
A quote and comment from Sri Ramakrishna, the great Bengali master of the nineteenth century, when asked why we suffer, poignantly replied: “To add zest to the [Divine] play.” In classic works of comedy, from Shakespeare to the Marx Brothers, things get darkest before the dawn.
Hail the dawn !
Namaste
Tracey
